On Dukie

I recently realized that I'm 7 months in to my blogging career and I have no posts dedicated solely to the topic of poop. I know some of you humans are not big on the subject (excluding my dad and Uncle Jason, of course) but pooping is a big part of my life. Seeing as how I'm a polite and respectful Republican, I normally try to avoid posting about potentially controversial or offensive topics, but I'm gonna have to take the risk here. I just love poop too much.

While I could go on for hours about all the many aspects of poop and pooping, I'm gonna focus mainly on technique this evening. My personal approach is to aim for the highest possible place. This makes sense because the President (my occupation) is the highest person in the land, so I should always poop at the highest possible elevation- have somewhat of a thrown, so to speak. In the backyard I usually aim for the tallest weeds. These can get up to about a foot higher than everything else in the yard because my lazy liberal mom doesn't ever get around to doing the yard work. Sometimes finding the highest point can be difficult- like at the beach land is pretty flat. In this circumstance the trick is to find a piece of driftwood or something.
Even though it's only an inch or so above everything else, that inch can still be a bold statement. In addition, what's lacking in elevation can often be made up for in artistic style.