Guys, seriously, sorry. I can only imagine how hard your lives have been not having me around (especially in such dire times with our insane/communist president practically turning America into the U.S.S.R). But I needed some time to lick my wounds--it's what us dogs do--before I could come back here. You're probably wondering what I did while I was away. No worries, I've made a list.
1. Chased tail (no better way to get back into a groove, I recommend it to anyone).
2. Started a garden (well actually I've just eaten some of the strawberries out of someone elses garden but it was hard work and it was nice to get back in touch with the land).
3. Destroyed my sister (ok so it was a dream, but man was it a good dream)
4. Slept (a lot)
5. Used a substantial amount of my parent's money on unnecessary trips to the vet. (They say I'm the perfect weight, btw, so no more fat jokes guys)
6. Was abducted by some liberal hippies in the east bay. I'm not sure what happened there but it wasn't actually too bad, there were these little kids that would play nonstop and they had the greatest tasting snot on their faces and the guy who appeared to run the place was great to chill on the couch with. Plus my sister wasn't there. It was shocking at first and at times it was hard to hear the liberal nonsense they talked about but I could lose myself enough in the snot and naps on the couch that it almost made it worth while, plus it's not like I get a break from the liberal nonsense at home anyway).
7. Caught up on reading. Only American stuff of course. I've made it through my dad's Hemingway collection, now I'm moving on to Updike.
1. Chased tail (no better way to get back into a groove, I recommend it to anyone).
2. Started a garden (well actually I've just eaten some of the strawberries out of someone elses garden but it was hard work and it was nice to get back in touch with the land).
3. Destroyed my sister (ok so it was a dream, but man was it a good dream)
4. Slept (a lot)
5. Used a substantial amount of my parent's money on unnecessary trips to the vet. (They say I'm the perfect weight, btw, so no more fat jokes guys)
6. Was abducted by some liberal hippies in the east bay. I'm not sure what happened there but it wasn't actually too bad, there were these little kids that would play nonstop and they had the greatest tasting snot on their faces and the guy who appeared to run the place was great to chill on the couch with. Plus my sister wasn't there. It was shocking at first and at times it was hard to hear the liberal nonsense they talked about but I could lose myself enough in the snot and naps on the couch that it almost made it worth while, plus it's not like I get a break from the liberal nonsense at home anyway).
7. Caught up on reading. Only American stuff of course. I've made it through my dad's Hemingway collection, now I'm moving on to Updike.
posted by Tatanka at 8:54 PM
1 Comments:
Glad you're back, T. I had almost given up on you.
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