On Paytriots

As a real American I love sports. Not soccer, that's a game for foreigners, but football and baseball (sometimes basketball too). As you can probably guess my favorite football team is the New England Patriots. Who wouldn't love them with a name like the Patriots--I've even considered trying out for their team mascot, but there was some requirement about being human. It's kind of a dumb requirement given I'm the biggest Patriot in America. But whatever, tonight they were playing to win the AFC Championship game and to make their way to the Super Bowl. Alas! They lost to the dreaded Colts. I think if they would have let me be their mascot I could have rallied enough energy for them to win.

I'm kind of worried this will embolden the terrorist to attack American. If the Patriots can lose then they'll think they can defeat our armies and economic might as well. Luckily they'd be wrong. Hmmm, maybe the President would like me to be America's mascot. The eagle, while beautiful and dignified, is getting kind of old.