I haven't posted in a while because we were out of town at a Family Reunion this past weekend, and then it took me a few days to rest up after the hard work of the weekend.
First of all, some background. This is the "family":
I say "family" because there were 27 people there, many of whom I didn't know I was related to, and 11 dogs there, most of whom I know I wasn't related to. . . .I mean come on! ME related to a floppy, friendly, giddy, golden retriever . . . . riiiight.
Anyway, even though I was pretty sure there was no relation between myself and most of these other dogs, I still played it safe. See, I was trying to get with this one older bitch there- I forget her name- Katie or Kathy or something, but then I remembered Grandma's Sex Ed class- you can't do it with family. I mean this girl was like 3rd cousin once removed or something, but still, I don't need any babies with 6 paws.
Anyway, I expected the Family Reunions to be nice and relaxing but it turns out I had to work pretty much the whole time. When we got to the pool I noticed there was no life guard on duty, and being the responsible citizen I am, I took the job upon myself. But those kids can do some pretty crazy things and I had to do more than my average share of patrolling.
Later, I guess somebody complained about my particular approach to life guarding and so my mom tried to hold me back, but it's gonna take a lot more than that for me to keep my mouth shut about the right and wrong way to swim.
-TKO
First of all, some background. This is the "family":
I say "family" because there were 27 people there, many of whom I didn't know I was related to, and 11 dogs there, most of whom I know I wasn't related to. . . .I mean come on! ME related to a floppy, friendly, giddy, golden retriever . . . . riiiight.Anyway, even though I was pretty sure there was no relation between myself and most of these other dogs, I still played it safe. See, I was trying to get with this one older bitch there- I forget her name- Katie or Kathy or something, but then I remembered Grandma's Sex Ed class- you can't do it with family. I mean this girl was like 3rd cousin once removed or something, but still, I don't need any babies with 6 paws.
Anyway, I expected the Family Reunions to be nice and relaxing but it turns out I had to work pretty much the whole time. When we got to the pool I noticed there was no life guard on duty, and being the responsible citizen I am, I took the job upon myself. But those kids can do some pretty crazy things and I had to do more than my average share of patrolling.
Later, I guess somebody complained about my particular approach to life guarding and so my mom tried to hold me back, but it's gonna take a lot more than that for me to keep my mouth shut about the right and wrong way to swim.
-TKO
posted by Tatanka at 11:07 PM
1 Comments:
It’s got to be tough attending a family reunion around so many crazy people. I’ll bet every one of them thinks they’re much smarter than dogs, especially small dogs with underbites! And as if that wasn’t enough, you’ve got your bleeding heart hippy mom running around snapping photographs like it’s going to save the world. I saw how she snuck up on that poor little girl picking berries and nearly scared her to death. And what’s with her picking on that poor Brad guy? Commenting on his beer consumption and reposting old photos that were taken years ago just to get a few laughs? Sounds to me like your mom’s just jealous that she can’t handle the cold water and tube down the river with the rest of the crazies. Maybe she even secretly wishes her religion would allow her to down a few beers herself, especially when she’s up in the redneck mountains on a hundred degree day. Someday, I hope you can set her straight. After all, dogs love beer too. I’ll bet she never pours one for you, not even on your birthday. All this puritan living, while a right-minded patriot like yourself is subjected to the indignity of “living” in a liberal cesspool like San Francisco. It just boggles the mind…
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