On Criing.

So my parents spent another $100 getting me diagnosed with dry eyes at the vet. Had they asked I would have told them that of course it's physically impossible for me to cry. I've never been hurt my entire life, so it's hard to test the theory, but trust me, I don't cry. Do you know who the only person who has cried less than me is? Chuck Norris. It's actually a tie because neither of us have ever cried, but I might have thought about crying once, when Obama was elected President, but I kept my stuff together, which isn't to say that Chuck wasn't distraught by the event too, but believe me, he wasn't thinking about crying, I'm sure he was thinking about drop-kicking Obama and his little monkey Biden all the way to the Sun (that thought actually kept me from crying in that most trying time). Anyway, now my parents keep putting eye-drops in my eye which gives the illusion of crying, but please, everyone, know that I am NOT crying.

- TKO