On sheats

Whenever my parents leave the house they cover up the couch with a sheet.

Morgan and I aren't actually allowed on the couch, so they used to leave it off assuming that we followed the rules while they were gone, but they somehow figured out that we'd been getting on it.
(like the paw prints, that could have been anyones hair/fur, maybe my moms- she's kinda dirty blond like me. Or maybe Morgan's, except her hair is all nappy, so they probably knew it wasn't hers).

So anyway, they've resorted to covering the couch before each departure. But the sheet really bothers me. I have sensitive skin on my underside and it needs to touch only the finest of material. The couch cushions are velvet, and while I prefer Baby Alpaca, the velvet is still better than that lame sheet. So I am forced to do the only thing I can do which is dig at the sheet once my parents have left to get to the softer cushions.

It would be one thing if they were like 100 thread count sheets, but no, these are like some Target brand 2-count piece of garbage! Thanks guys- why don't you just go ahead and lay down a piece of scrap metal for me to lay on!! geez.

So I get yelled at a lot because when they come home the couch usually looks like this
but I've got needs.

--TKO