Tuesday, July 15, 2008

On Honisty

Mom, I just wanted to let you know that I didn't eat your hat. Promise!

Sunday, July 06, 2008

On Gunn Controll

There's some good news for real Americans. The Supreme Court has decided that a ban on handguns is illegal! And the court also struck down the silly requirement that firearms be equipped with trigger locks. This second one is especially important for me, not having opposable thumbs makes it pretty hard to use my guns when they've got those silly locks on them. Technically I'm not even allowed to own guns (because I'm a dog), but now that they're letting the gays get married I'm pretty sure they'll start letting dogs own guns too. You win some you lose some I suppose.

Friday, July 04, 2008

On Sellebrating

Today is the most important holiday of the year. Now I'll give you that the birth of Christ is pretty important, especially to this great Christian nation, but the actual birth of the greatest democracy to ever be seen on this planet (and I'm quite sure any other planet in the Universe too) is hugely important. In celebration I wanted to post some of my favorite patriotic songs, not songs like my dad posts, those things can down right bore you to sleep or make you want to eat your own tail--not that I'm against napping generally, and now that I think about it if I could I would eat my own tail, but it's always just out of reach, and it hurts just a little when I bite it, anyway. I'm talking about great classic American songs. Here's my top five list:

  1. God Bless The USA (Fact: If you can't get behind this song, you're not American. Period. This cannot be debated.)

  2. The Star Spangled Banner (Could there be a better National Anthem? You got to love this song, even if this guy doesn't (I think we know who not to vote for)).

  3. Born in the USA (I wasn't even aware that other countries had hospitals, that's the problem with socialized medicine. The best part of being born in the USA is that you don't have to go through the hassle of immigrating here, which everyone wants to do, clearly.)

  4. Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue (Now you'll notice that I don't have a link to this song; it turns out my parents refuse to spend the money to download it. I'm still trying to get the $100 out of them that I made at Yahoo but they're holding out on me. Anyway, if we had to choose a different national anthem I'd go for this song. This thing makes me want to go out and salute a flag, or bite morgan.)

  5. Have You Forgotten (Same problem as previous song. Sometimes my parents really bug me. Anyway, it's almost election time and I think it's as important as ever to remember why we went into Iraq and all the good it's done and how much safer we are now because of it. Please, people, don't forget.)

Vote Republican if you love America.